An open letter (whatever the hell that is) to the Travel Channel:

Dear Travel Channel,

If I wanted to watch shows about food, I would watch the fucking food channel. You are, allegedly, a channel which shows programs about traveling. If I have to watch Andrew Zimmern eat some dude’s shit one more time, I’ll eat my own shit. And Anthony Bourdain, I get it, you’re edgy – we alllll get it. And to the guy on “Man V. Food” – I think you’re losing the battle, tubby. What a stupid name for a show.

“Food Paradises”, “Tastiest Places to Chow Down”, “Man V. Food Nation” (whatever the hell that is), and a shit load of Andrew Z. and Anthony B. – this is what I see listed as I scroll through the channel guide for this week. Only occasionally is there a show that features travel as the main topic – and these are all on way before 11 am, which, as an unemployed American, is my roll-out-of-bed-and-put-in-contacts time. So, shame on you, Travel Channel. I’ll watch Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations - Cuba tonight at 8 pm and then that’s it – I’m switching to LOGO because, come on, that shit is funny.

Sincerely,

Lynne Calamia’s ghost writer (whatever the hell that is)